Tomorrow

Same day, same moon

24/7 every moment repeats

My life is in between

Jobless twenty-somethings are afraid of tomorrow

It’s funny, you think anything is possible when you’re a kid

When you feel how hard it is to get through a day

Keep feeling like the “Control” beat, keep downloading it

Every single day is a repetition of ctrl+c, ctrl+v

I have a long way to go but why am I running in place?

I scream out of frustration but the empty air echoes

I hope tomorrow will be different from today

I’m just wishing

The tomorrow we’ve been waiting for becomes the name of yesterday at some point

Tomorrow becomes today, today becomes yesterday, tomorrow becomes yesterday and is behind me

Life isn’t about living along but living through

As you live through, you’ll disappear some day

If you keep spacing out, you’ll be swept away, if you ain’t no got the guts, trust

It’ll all become yesterday anyway so what’s the use?

I wanted to become happy and strong but why am I getting weaker?

Where am I going? I’m going here and there but I always come back here

Yeah, I’ll probably flow somewhere, is there an end to this maze?

Tomorrow, keep walking, we’re too young to stop

Tomorrow, open the door, there's so much to see than to shut the door

When the dark night passes, a bright morning will come

When tomorrow comes, the bright light will shine so don’t worry

This isn’t a stop but just a pause in your life for a break

Turn up your thumbs and press play so everyone can see

Follow your dream like breaker

Even if it breaks down, oh better

Follow your dream like breaker

Even if it breaks down, don’t ever run backwards, never

Because the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest

Even in the far future, never forget the you of right now

Wherever you are right now, you’re just taking a break

Don’t give up, you know

Don’t get too far away, tomorrow

********

Melody-wise, this is not in my favourite songs. 

But the lyrics, so beneficial and very deep. 

It's almost a year. 

All I can see is the goodness it brings. 

I can spend more time taking care of my parents. 

I can save more for myself. 

I can do lots more for my students. 

I can be me, for me. 

Apart of being a bts trash, i had a good life. And if God will, lead a good life ahead. 

Thank Allah for all the blessing He showered upon me. 

Yesterday is a past. Tomorrow is uncertain. Live for today. As today is a gift that's why it is called present :)

N.O

A good house, a good car, will these things bring happiness?

Will parents really be happy?

Dreams disappeared, there was no time to rest

It’s a cycle of school, home or an Internet cafe

Everyone lives the same life

Students who are pressured to be number one live in between dreams and reality

Who is the one who made us into studying machines?

They classify us to either being number one or dropping out

They trap us in borders, the adults

There’s no choice but to consent

Even if we think simply, it’s the survival of the fittest

Who do you think is the one who makes us step on even our close friends to climb up? What?

Adults tell me that hardships are only momentary

To endure a little more, to do it later

Everybody say NO!

It can’t be any later

Don’t be trapped in someone else’s dream

It has to be now or never

We still haven’t done anything

I want to play and eat, I want to tear my uniform

Make money, good money, but they already view me crookedly

My obscure bank account, my unhappiness is past its limit

A factory of sighs while studying, a continuous cycle

The grown-ups confess that we have it so easy

They say that we are happier than our portion

Then how do you explain my unhappiness?

There’s no conversation topics beside studying

Outside, there are so many kids like me, living the life of a puppet

Who will take responsibility?

It was one of the best lyrics for one of my favourite song. 

As a student back then when I was in primary and secondary school, I never feel study as a burden. 

I enjoyed learning. And I enjoyed being in school. 

Maybe, during my high school, I feel a bit pressure from studying due to the competition with my batchmates, to be the top, to get GPA 4.0

But still, I loved school. 

But today, I am a teacher. 

And I realized that my students do not have the passion as I was before. 

They sometimes hate school, they hate homeworks, they feel bored in class. 

The only thing that make them keep on coming to school is to play around with their friends. 

So when something bad happened with their friend, like one of student moved to other school because she had problem with one of her classmate. 

I mean, what? 

Who is the one who made us into studying machines?

Who do you think is the one who makes us step on even our close friends to climb up?

Who will take responsibility?

They come to school because their parents want to. 

And bangtan expressed that feelings into this song, one of their early songs back then in 2013. 

I went to a workshop before, some of the things the speaker said that caught me off guard were,

"We not build a generation, we are making robots"

"Teach them the language, not just because the exam is coming"

21st century learning, so much researches are going on right now

To find the solutions on how to teach the newer generations. 

As a newbie teacher, I am making a lot of mistakes. 

I am still learning and have a long way to go. 

For me, at the time being, is to fix the student's attitude towards the knowledge instead. 

They don't have the urge to appreciate what has been taught to them. 

Everything seems boring and dull. 

Why should they learn at school when they can find the knowledge from internet?

While we adults try to enforce them to sit still and learn. 

More fun activities, more student centred learning, sitting arrangement, class decorations, this that those these~~

We.are.human. 

Students, teachers, parents. 

Learn to appreciate the knowledge, the people who teaches. 

Learning is a long-life journey and it is not limited to school. 

As real life lessons are much long lasting. 

And above all, appreciate the knowledge that God had descended upon us. 

Holy Quran Chapter 96 verses 1-5

1. Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),
2. Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).
3. Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous,
4. Who has taught (the writing) by the pen,
5. Has taught man that which he knew not.

Rain

The thick color of a rainy day 

The racing cars, the squirming umbrellas all over the place

It’s cloudy and the air is clear

The rain stops and the reflection in the puddle

With a light gray background, why am I standing here?

I don’t know if I have a lot of thoughts or no thoughts at all

I wake up when it’s just about to get bright outside

I brush back my hair with my exhausted hands

The memopad with the song I couldn’t complete last night

I’ll finish it today as I shut my eyes and let out a sigh

What excuse can I give? I try to make something up

It’s unfinished anyway so I’ll just make anything up

Then I turned my eyes to the window and everything looks gray

Gray city, gray buildings, gray roads, gray rain

Everything in this world is slow

My younger sibling who woke up keeps talking back

I keep opening and closing the innocent refrigerator

With the unknown empty feeling that washes over me

I think that I should just go outside

Without even an umbrella

I can clearly hear the rain hitting the earth

I smile, it’s the best background music

Like a crazy guy, I start to hum

I wonder what time it is

It’s a rainy night, the rain knocks on my window, it hits my heart

With my sore shoulders, I look at my phone and see a text, “How are you these days?”

My friend’s text gets my emotions going

As I inhale the scent of the wet rain, I stretch and go to the bathroom

Then I greet myself, half asleep in the mirror

I have no one to meet but I take a longer shower than usual

Rain is still falling outside the house

I have no where to go but I take my umbrella

And walk outside without a plan

As if the rain wants its existence to be known, my shoes get dirty

Am I someone who engraved my existence to you like the rain?

If not, am I just someone who came and went like a rain shower?

The thick color of a rainy day 

I still can’t fall asleep as I fade away

The rain stops and the reflection in the puddle

I see myself looking more miserable today

I get up and when I feel sore, I look out the window

As if it knows how my body feels, the rain is falling

As I look at the raindrops welling up in the window, I felt it

The tears that were flowing down my heart

With that strange feeling, I look outside and it looks like my situation

The rain that falls like a melody makes everything seem andante

I get ready and leave, opening the umbrella that was as wrinkled as my face

As I walk, the moment I heard the rain

I wondered who this rain was falling for

A sound that hits against the lonely gray cement

Come slow down

Even when this rain stops, when the clouds go away

I stand here, just the same

Without saying anything, looking at the world

There, a not so beautiful me is looking at myself

**********

Because today is raining. 

And it feels gloomy. 

Holy Quran 42:28

------------------

وَهُوَ الَّذِي يُنَزِّلُ الْغَيْثَ مِن بَعْدِ مَا قَنَطُوا وَيَنشُرُ رَحْمَتَهُ ۚ وَهُوَ الْوَلِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ

And it is He who sends down the rain after they had despaired and spreads His mercy. And He is the Protector, the Praiseworthy.

No more dream

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Is that all your dream is?

I wanna big house, big cars & big rings

But actually, I don’t have any big dreams

Haha, I live quite comfortably

Even if I don’t dream, no one says anything

Everyone is thinking the same way as me

I completely forgot about my childhood when I had a lot of dreams

What is the you that you’ve dreamed of?

Who do you see in the mirror? I gotta say

Go on your path, even if you live for a day

Do something, put away your weakness

Why aren’t you saying anything?

You don’t wanna study but you’re scared to quit school?

See, you’re already getting ready for school

Please grow up, you’re all talk dude, you have a glass mentality boy

(Stop) Ask yourself if you’ve ever worked hard for anything

Sick of the same day, the repeating days

Grown-ups and my parents keep instilling confined dreams to me

Number one future career is a government worker?

It’s not a forced dream, a ninth inning relief pitcher

Throw a fast ball at the waste of time that is night study sessions

Rebel against the hellish society, dreams are a special pardon

Ask yourself about your dream profile

Become the main subject of your life that has always been suppressed

Don’t know how to live

Don’t know how to fly

Don’t know how to decide

Don’t know how to dream now

To all the youth without dreams

I started this blog with recent songs

Let's go back to their debut era, shall we?

It was 2013. 

I was doing my final year project for my degree in engineering at university abroad. 

I gave up. 

I don't want to be an engineer. 

I even thought if my professor failed my fyp, I would begging him to let me passed so I can go home. 

Home, the place I was longing for after 4 years studying oversea. 

I don't have big dreams. 

I never did. 

But I had the chance to study abroad sponsored by the government. 

Yeah, sponsored yet I have to pay 10% back later. 

So I knew what my future like.

Become a government servant to pay off my study loan. 

Still, I made a decision of not being an engineer. 

What should I'll be then?

When people asked me,"What do you like to do? Things that you wanna enjoy doing for the rest of your life."

I was stuck, between things you're enjoy doing and things that will make you keep on living. 

After 3 years since then. 

I am working right now, pay off my study loan on monthly basis as well as car loan, house rent, bills etc.

Nothing much change.

Ask yourself if you’ve ever worked hard for anything

Ask yourself about your dream profile

Become the main subject of your life that has always been suppressed

But I am not an engineer by profession. 

Maybe I can still call myself an engineer but I'm not building houses, I'm building up a generation. 

I'm a teacher. 

I teaches. 

And I love what I'm doing right now. 

Perhaps I couldn't live in luxury, but here and there I could find happiness. 

And I'm building up my dreams with the kids, bit by bit. 

To all the youth without dreams

Find things that meaningful for you and work hard on them. 

But always question yourself, is it worth fighting for? To whom? 

Holy Quran 51:56

------------------

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me (Allah).

I believed in what matters to Allah, Lord of the world. 

Being good, doing good. 

Never give up. 

Live your dreams. 

[BTS fanfic] Love me, not (1)

I was standing there, still.

The moment I reached their waiting room, I was stunned and not be able to lift my hand to open the door. 

Suddenly the door opened itself. 

Jin was a bit shocked to see me but then he smiled brightly.

"Are you the talk talk winner?" He asked in english, with korean slang. 

"Y-yes, I am." 

"Please come in."

Jin opened the door widely, and immediately I saw Yoongi with his white skin. I saw others too but cannot take my eyes off him. And I was still standing there, not moving by inch. 

Jin took my wrist but I snatched away hurriedly. Jin seems puzzled by my action and immediately apologized. 

"N-no, no. I am sorry. I don't touch guys. Don't feel offended. It just me," I tried to explain in shaky voice but Jin didn't seem to understand me. 

Namjoon came towards us and tried to calm me down and asked me to come in. 

And this time, I did. 

After a proper introduction of myself, they now understand with the help of Namjoon to translate. 

I am a muslim. But an army too. 

I love them, but I cannot touch them. 

I win myself a chance to meet bangtan but I'm not like most fans - shake their hands, hi-five, or even hugs. 

I could only talk or smile to them. 

Somehow they felt comfortable around me. 

Eventhough we had language barrier, we could still talk to each other, do aegyo, laughed together and of course singing. 

Most of the time Namjoon did the talking as well as the ever-lasting bright person Tae. 

I was older compared to all of them but somehow we managed to adapt with each other very fast. 

And I had so much fun being around them. 

It was a dream comes true. 

What's better than that, an army meets her star. 

Until I realized one of my stars was in love with me. 

To be continued...

Love me, not (2) >>

T/N Usually fanfic is telling you a story of idol in love with another idol in the same or other group. I'm against same gender marriage. It is what I believe in. So gay relationship is not my thing. Still i feel like writing a fanfic. It is really a fanfic, my fanfic on how I get involved in love between my stars. Have u watched Monstar? It is one of my fav drama. A star can fall in love with normal people like us ;)