Young Forever

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*****

Forever we are young

Amidst the scattering rain of flower petals

I run, wandering through this maze

Forever, we are young

I may fall down and get hurt

But I still run endlessly towards my dreams

The Prophet (SAW) said:

“Take benefit of five before five:
Your youth before your old age,
Your health before your sickness,
Your wealth before your poverty,
Your free-time before your preoccupation and
Your life before your death.”
[Mustadrak Al-Haakim]

Being young is not long lasting. 

The question is how you define young?

Bill Gates founded Microsoft at the age of 20 while Steve Jobs co-founded apple when he was 21

Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh conquered Constantinople at the age of 21 as well

Yet, Prophet Muhammad became the muslim leader in Madinah when he was 53 years old. 

So my point is, age is just a number. 

But being young is what we work on ourselves for a better future. 

What is our dream?

What is our purpose of life?

What we want to achieve at certain age?

Life is indeed a short journey, so what we had done to our youth?

I became an ARMY when I was 25

I love their concept, of promoting youth energy. 

From being a rebellious youngster, hatred towards adulthood that seems meaningless, to fall in love with someone might not worth for, to work hard for your dreams while keeping the youth vibe. 

Me being a kpop fan for almost 8 years, now become an adult I feel how meaningless this fangirling thing. 

But since I found BTS, I became 18 years old me all over again. 

Because I thought this is the thing that will make me work hard towards my dream. 

To stay young, to feel young. 

But I was wrong. 

I am scared actually. 

Being an adult, I scare of it. 

Making choices in life. 

Being fully responsible with your decision. 

Work hard to get money to keep on living. 

Pay debts for my degree, house rent, car loan etc etc.

So I choose to feel and stay young by watching their videos, following their tweets, enjoying their performances. 

Yet, I spent too much time on them that I forgot to work on my own dream, my own life. 

And I feel that my youth is fading...

I don't blame them. 

I feel the happiness, more to guilty pleasure I would say. 

They work so hard on their parts. 

Just remember to work hard on our parts too. 

As an army, I wish to say this to all other armys;

Who spent too much time bickering other fandom and condemning other co-stars in variety show that mistreat the boys,

Who spent too much money on merchandise until they broke,

Who spent too much energy crying and screaming over them, and even pushing them that almost get them hurt (wait, ru really an army?)

Please get a life of yourselves that worth fighting for. 

Bangtan boys are humans, like we are. 

Let them live their lifes, that we could give all the supports, at the same time give time for your own life and work on it. 

May God bless...

Having someone to go to, having someone to love, having both is a blessing that was sent from above. Right, Tae? :)

First Love

Even when I pushed you away
Even when I resented meeting you
You were firmly by my side
You didn’t have to say anything
So don’t ever let go of my hand
I won’t let you go ever again either
My birth and the end of my life
You will be there to watch over it all

It was not a piano.
She's my mom. My first love.
She's crying the most at the moment.
It's raining outside, the sky is crying with her.
My brothers and sisters are talking in the living room. On how they afraid mom is giving up with her life.
She cannot bear the pain anymore.
So she's crying.
And the rain is pouring even harder with her every painful sobbing.

I grabbed her hand then I let it go when my sisters came in.
It has been weeks of me listening to her cries, her pain, her sigh,
I know she's giving in, she want to leave so she will not feel the pain anymore.
While my brothers and sisters are worrying bout her feeling that way.
What do u expect?
She's dying.
Of course it hurts so much.
Why are u complaining now?

For 59 years of her life, 37 years she spent raising her 8 children.
Can't you just be with her now without complaining?

I'm not a good daughter, considering she's my first love.
I spent half of my life living far from her, study at boarding schools then further study abroad.
But i love her...
No matter how much i'm complaining too, inside ny heart.
I love her.

Allah, if leaving is the best for her then please let her go in the best possible way with the least painful she might feel.
But if not, please please save her from this painful disease, cure her, make her happy.
Please..
Save my first love.

Path/Road

Watch >> https://youtu.be/7kC79mA2kMw

With all the awards, success and worldwide recognition bangtan got this year, looking back at their debut days is totally worth.
I mentioned this before, I wasn't an army when they first debuted.
Still I can't help but feel proud with their growth.
From someone who doubt their own selves thinking if would they able make it...if they had the choices to change their path, would they changed it?
The lyrics is one of my favourite along with tomorrow and lost.

Here's the lyrics taken from btsdiary blog (cr.)

It started with Eminem, Garion, Epik High
I exceed imitation I write my own rap then carve them in
Now that I see, I’ve somehow gotten to Hongdae
All of my life savings at the time all (?) the teacher

But We Dunno We Dunno We Dunno
The future allowed no time to breathe and tied me up while I was dreaming
The trap of an abandoned reality
Oh the trap of one’s youth
My fiery heart lost to my cold head

While I had blind faith that my choice was the right one, 
something that I can’t identify as an angel or Satan says
“Wouldn’t you like to rap properly"
Yes No There is no time to hesitate

I, who didn’t want to make an even bigger idiot out of myself,
came to this place and 3 years have since passed
Some say art is long, life is short
But now for me art is life, life is sports
Just do it on

 Countless measures of time has passed and it’s 2013
I remained as trainee for 3 years
Before I knew it, I’ve changed from a high school student to an oversized child

Grey hairs of greed and ambition increase and the many friends I had split off one by one
Lonely without family, I greet my third spring in Seoul alone
I thought my worries will ease with the debut in front of my nose;
I closed my eyes to the present that could not be altered

Reality was different, even when my peers tried to keep me
I walked the lightless tunnels on my own
I thought I was alone but I’ve learned that we are seven.  
No longer barefoot, wearing shoes called Bangtan
We go on forward another step, newer than the last.
Towards the fourth spring we’ll greet in Seoul

 It’s the year 2010, my steps head to Seoul.
I, who started out just loving dance is soon to stand on stage
Until then I combat the many pains and scars and prepare myself
I nurture my notion to bend rather than to break and run for 3 years and ignite the stars in my heart
Now see me anew I carve ‘Bangtan’ into a blank page that means the whole world.
I walk towards my brighter future I put on a smile for the further days.

Would I have changed? 

If I had chosen a different path, if I had stopped and looked back 

What will I get to see? 

At the end of this road, where you would be standing

I used to study engineering for four years

and now I am a teacher for two years

Still there's voice inside me, do you really want to be a teacher for the rest of your life?

I met my high school teacher and he asked me the same and I replied yes I love to teach then he said,

"you never try to be other than teacher, how do u know if u would be happy doing other things or not"

Would I have changed if I had chosen a different path?

What will I get to see if I stopped and looked back?

Where I would be standing at the end of this road called life?

Of course I want a better life to live in, but I dream of having a greater life hereafter 

I have one bigger mission than just a career...

What is your path?

Letter from an ARMY

"stanning bts is the most fulfilling, satisfying, rewarding experience.. theyve seriously given me the happiest moment in my life" -vminissi

Disclaimer: This is my letter. Only my opinion. Not all armys.

I am one year army. Although i've been into kpop since 8 or 9 years ago, I never become part in any fandom. I just love kpop musics as general. They've been accompanying me whenever i need to study. Because i didn't care bout the lyrics nor i understand them.
I just listen and do my work. And i'd be mad if there's kpop song playing when i want to sleep. Cause for me, kpop is for me to stay up. That's all.

But later, as I grew up...I realized some songs contain explicit content. Not good to my belief as a muslim. So I started to read lyrics translation each time I like a song.

In 2010, I came across exo. In fact, i was stanning them since they debuted. I love MAMA, the lyrics were nice though i dun remember it well now.
And later they became famous with growl. The song was so catchy and i even learned the dance.
I love their XOXO album the most though i didn't buy it. I never buy any kpop merchs until bts.
When exoM members were out one after another and their title songs were keep repeating the same topic of a boy crazily in love with a girl, i backed off a bit.
But I still listen to their songs for each comebacks.

End of 2015, I met BTS.
Their songs in HYYH pt 2 hit me hard. So relatable, they spoke their mind and mine too in their songs. Reading lyrics translation is never be the same. So full of emotions. And stories. Youth and life.
As namjoon said, he made the songs about struggles so people who listen will not struggle as much.
I never fall in love this hard. If before i might stan a group because specifically there's someone i like (into my likings) in the group.
But BTS, i love them all. Even i have bias and all, i still love them as BTS.

I made a twitter acc and joined the fandom.
Along the way, i've been thinking of backing off as well. It was a rollercoaster emotional ride to be in this fandom.
There are immature fans, rude fans make me questioned myself why I'm in this at the first place.
But then I met so many others beautiful souls of armys around the world.
Who love the boys as much, and love to share the happiness with other armys.
Who share encouraging words here and then.

At first all i did was following ppl for giveaways. But now i hold giveaways myself and met nice people along the way.
I managed to buy albums for myself and want to share more with others as well.
Especially those malaysian armys that honestly i feel like meeting old friends.
Even mostly or i would say all of my mutuals except maybe 1 are younger than me, i feel loved.
To be able to support them as well and share my life experiences is an honor.

Now whenever i see those fanwars, I back off immediately. I don't want to spread hate.
Someone posted saying her friend told her why she hates army is because most armys are stanning BTS only.
So what's wrong with that?
Like I do listen to other songs as well but stanning one is enough.
Enough for my emotions and money, I can't never be like those multifandom fans.
I'm barely survive with BTS haha

By stanning means I'm going to support my boys as much as I can without dragging others down..
Every idols work so hard to achieve whatever achievement they deserved
So move on.
U support yours, i support mine
Why hate when we can always spread love :)

Sincerely,
An ARMY