The realms of day and night

Two different worlds coming from two opposite poles mingled during this time

We living in a good life.
We living in a bad life.

We got different start and stories
We got different nights and mornings

So what I was saying in my twitter; if u know me irl, please pretend u don't...
Like I am some kind of secret agent living a double life
Of me asking should I post more personal stuff on twitter or should I keep it as kpop related only, so I thought me being a kpop fan is not personal?
In fact it is, like my friends irl never know me in twitter and I might say to them "it's personal" while my mutuals never know me irl and I would say "it's personal"
Which person I am then?

Someone then may ask, what's the matter with u? R u a celebrity irl?? Stop being hypocrite! Dun lie!!!
Well, I never lie...I'm just not tell everything and be transparent.
Why?
Because u will judge me hard if u know both of me...
Only my family know these double life of mine and they occasionally judging me here and there

Why are u like this when u actually do this?

Be like what? Do what?

I told somewhere in the blog and twitter too that I am a teacher
Some of my mutuals were impressed and wish they have a teacher who also an army
So now, if I tell u I am ustazah (a religion preacher) would u still be impressed?
Someone who teach bout islam but stan kpop? Ridiculous!
Why the double standards?

I'm not ustazah though, but yeah..
this kind of double standards on how people look and judge brought me into these two sides of me which both are personal
Both makes me as myself

Life is about choices
That's why I love Namjoon's lyrics the most because he keep bringing that topic
Of choices in life

And I was reminded just now with the verses from Quran chapter 69 Surah Al-Haqqah

That Day, you will be exhibited [for judgement]; not hidden among you is anything concealed.

So as for he who is given his record in his right hand, he will say, "Here, read my record!

Indeed, I was certain that I would be meeting my account."

So he will be in a pleasant life -

Because he living in a good life

But as for he who is given his record in his left hand, he will say, "Oh, I wish I had not been given my record

[ Allah will say], "Seize him and shackle him.

Then into Hellfire drive him" 

Because he living in a bad life

In the day, all the secrets, having a double life or whatnot are going to be revealed.

So what choice that I made?

Spring Day

I miss you
When I say that
I miss you more
I’m looking at your photo
But I still miss you
Time is so cruel
I hate us
Now it’s hard
To even see each other’s faces

It’s only winter here
Even in August, winter is here
My heart makes time run
Like a Snowpiercer left alone
I wanna hold your hand
And go to the other side of the earth
To end this winter
How much longing
Has to fall like snow
For the spring days to come?
Friend

Like a small piece
Of dust
That floats in the air
If the flying snow is me
I could
Reach you faster

Did you change?
Or did I change?
I hate even this moment that is passing
I guess we changed
I guess that’s how everything is

Although you left
There hasn’t been a day
That I have forgotten you
Honestly, I miss you
But now I’ll erase you
Because that will hurt less
Than resenting you

Snowflakes are falling
Getting farther away
I miss you
How much more do I have to wait?
Until I can see you?
Until I can meet you?

You know it all
You’re my best friend
The morning will come again
Because no darkness, no season
Can last forever

Cherry blossoms are blooming
The winter is ending
I miss you
If I wait a little longer
I’ll go see you
I’ll go pick you up

Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Stay there a little longer
Stay there

cr. colorcodedlyrics

as expected of bangtan, making relatable songs about youth, about life

when the mv dropped, i was stunned by the cinematography so aesthetic and beautiful 

then i clicked the cc and read the trans

it feels like love song

but after repeat the song again and again and again (to get 10M and all) it struck me, hard

especially on yoong's part

"did u change? or did I change?"

this is faded friendship song

after time passes, what happened to us?

so I decided to look at my old photos while listening to the song

and i was crying, my heart hurts

i miss them so much

i miss the old me

"if you have old friends u havent talk for awhile, call them and say hi" - namjoon, vlive ch+

we must move on in life, but sometimes it's good to stay and look back, it's bitter sweet :')

to learn, become a better person...